Oops, it’s been 3 weeks?!

My baaaad, blog fail.

So. Israel has been really amazing.  I’ve especially been doing a lot of melting, but not the good mushroom kind of melting. Just the kind where you’re about ready to give up everything and live in  the arctic circle for all eternity. Then you remember how much you complained when it was 55 degrees in Berkeley and you settle for going to the local pool instead. And its great because this pool is the pool at the Soldier’s Center in be’er sheva; i.e. its where all the hot soldiers go. Hot. More melting?

Anyways, sidetracked.

Really, though, Israel has been great.  I’ve beach bummed in Tel Aviv, seen the Old City in Jerusalem, bar hopped, danced excessively in multiple locations, Kibbutz-ed it up, giggled and stumbled about with old and new friends. Decision: Israelis are hilarious and ridiculous.  I’ve observed this, being that I can’t really speak Hebrew.  I don’t know enough Hebrew slang, nor can I speak fast enough, to be “in” with the young people.  Because I don’t know the cool lingo, everytime I talk I pretty much sound tard status. 

STORY TIME: To follow up on Yasmine’s crazy cab driver story. MidEast Cab Driver tales, part deux.  Some friend’s and I went to a club. I was staying at my good guy friend’s place, so at the end of the night I obvs headed out with him.  As we’re going along the cab driver begins asking my friend all these question, therapist style. Lucky for us it was approximately a half hour cab ride.  Awkward questions were directed at both of us. Example: “On a scale of 1-10 how bad do you want him?” Example: “Now that I look at her, you know you’re really missing out. What are you doing?” Also, much random life advice was given. It was very useful. If I could remember what said advice was I would share it with you.  After a while my friend was like OK just stop, here is good. and we walked the rest of the way down the street. haha. Israelis can be really nosey sometimes.

This weekend I’ll be going to Haifa and other rando places in the north and hopefully do some other last minute sight seeing type things this week before going to the army for 3 weeks. YAY. I’m volunteering in the army. Thankfully this won’t be including boot camp.  

Ok I hate this blog entry right now. It is lame. I’ll write later when I’m not about to fall asleep at the keyboard.

LOVE YOU ALL AND MISS YOU LIKE CRIZZAYZAY

terri

Bye Bye Bay, ‘Ello other side of the world!

Testing, testinnnnng??

 

GREETINGS!! שלום מישראל! (hi from israel)

Disclaimer: I have never blogged before, kept a diary, written songs on napkins, or anything of the sort so I apologize in advance for less than perfect blog entries.

First of all, I’d like to express my dismay that the username Pony Press was taken! What the fuck? Who thought of that before me? I hate them, whoever they are.  They stole my perfect blog name.  Whatevs, they prob can’t rap like I can.

So…I feel like this is an awkward conversation..with myself?  haha.

Part I: London

I had a 10 hour layover in London on Monday, so I went into the city for a little bit!  London is incredible, I had no idea.  There is so much history, its unbelievable.  In 4 hours I saw Buckingham Palace–which I actually thought would be much bigger–, Downing Street, Hyde Park, lots of statues of old famous white men, Westminster, Trafalgar Square, Big Ben, and my favorite place–the House of Lords. 

The House of Lords is the best because you can go inside and listen to them talk.  After passing through a lot of security, signing your life away on a form that says you won’t disturb the Lords, and walking up a lot of stairs you sit in a gallery full of very English, overstuffed leather chairs.  All the Lords sit on giant overstuffed leather sofas too(red, obvs).  I was there for question and answer time, where they debate legislation and stuff (?).  Surprisingly its kind of disorderly.  If people disagree with what someone is saying they all grumble and the whole place is mic-ed so you hear everyone (i.e. hilarity insues).  At one point they all laughed really loud, like Austin Powers style when Dr. Evil starts to laugh and all his sidekicks do their heartiest, most evil laughs for an excessive amount of time.  Because of the mics their laughs almost made the roof top pop off the building. I can’t tell you what was said, their accents are difficult. The clerks wear those silly little wigs from paintings. Amazing. Also, I got chastised for standing up to see better. Clearly, I bring shame to America for my misconduct in the House of Lords.

Best things about London: the people were surprisingly nice, witty men with sexy accents (!!), legally having a beer with dinner (!), ponies EVERYWHERE (!!!), too much history to even comprehend. I’ll put up some pictures later if I can.

Rap Intermission:

Why the fuck is it 3 AM?! I wish that I could smoke a stem like dem homies back at home, need to call dem on da phizzonnnne. Fuck you jet leg I’m gonna get you, watch yo back cuz i might sue

wikka wikka whhaaaaat

Part II: Israel

Arrival: 5 am. Ungodly hour. Already hot. Nap time from 7-8:30 am. 

My aunt woke me up from the bliss that was sleeping on a flat surface and I accompanied her in errand running. We walked around for an hour and a half and when we got back she realized she hadn’t even bought what we originally went out for. Balls. On the bright side, I saw tank tops for$2. Non-balls. Ok this isn’t interesting NEXT TOPIC.  

Same day (i.e. continuation of the previous 30 hours because I fail at sleeping on planes)  my cousin took me to the beach with his friends in a beautiful place called Netanya.  The water here is so nice and warm, clear all the way through, without big waves, so I’m not scared of it! YAY! However, you do have to watch out for jellyfish but I think a sting or two is worth being in warm, non-scary water. 

My cousins friend’s were hilarious, mainly because Israeli boys are witty jerkoffs.  I felt really weird though, because I basically can’t speak Hebrew here.  Everyone talks too fast and there are a lot of words I don’t understand.  I’m scared I won’t ever fit in here, which worries me because I might want to live here.  Feeling like an outsider here sucks because, as a Jew, you want to feel at home, yet you know its impossible because you didn’t grow up in the same culture. Who knows though, I’ve only been here a couple days. I hope it gets better. 

Jerusalem tomorrow! Definitely one of the most beautiful and interesting cities in Israel. Will write when I get back.

I miss you all so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t wait to hear about your travels

peace out scouts.

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